Angela's Lesson Helps
by Angela Williams / ga09302007

OBJECT LESSON:  At the beginning of the lesson I asked the girls who had brought their scriptures. The ones who didn't raise their hands, I started to give little candy bars. (you will probably get a response.) I then went on to my lesson. At the end of the lesson I handed out king size versions of the candy bars to the girls that did bring their scriptures. I told them the “little” candy bars were “instant gratification” in life. And the King size bars were the eternal blessings. If you do what the world says is okay, you may get some pleasure now, but if you do what Heavenly Fathers commands you to do, the reward is always better than you ever dreamed of. You may have to wait longer to see it, but it is always worth the wait.

The reason I am going over these definitions is because although they might seem harsh or uninviting right now, they need to know what is right and wrong, because they chastity applies not only as teens, but until the DAY they are married. So, this lesson is to be sure they know what it means to be chaste now as teenagers and more importantly, when they are seriously dating in their 20’s or engaged. (most importantly when they are engaged and in love).

DEFINITIONS:

• Masturbation: To sexually stimulate oneself. “Masturbation. I have heard it called “self abuse”.
• Homosexuality: “ ‘Sexual desire for those of the same sex or sexual relations between individuals of the same sex,’ whether men or women”
• Adultery: Sexual intercourse with someone other than one’s own lawful husband or wife.
• Fornication: Sexual intercourse by the unmarried (see President Kimball Speaks Out, pp. 10, 12).
• Necking: Passionate kissing and intimate contact (see President Kimball Speaks Out, p. 8).
• Petting: “Fondling of the private parts of the body for the purpose of sexual arousal” (President Kimball Speaks Out, p. 8).
• I added pornography and oral sex (you can choose to discuss or leave out, but I hear too many stories where girls didn’t think they were having sex because it was oral and I want to be sure the girls know it is WRONG).

DATING ROAD RULES – whenever you are on a date, each time you pass these roads signs I want you to remember these dating rules.

STOP - with a goodnight kiss!
NO PASSING ZONE - Passes are not acceptable
SOFT SHOULDERS - etc., are hard to resist so...Dress Modestly!
NO PARKING! (The sign for this is just a car with the diagonal line through it)
YIELD! - to the Lords spirit...especially when dating!
ONE WAY - There is only (one way) to achieve worthiness for a Temple Marriage

DISCUSSION

Have the class members read these scriptures together and discuss how the principles taught in the scriptures will help them maintain their chastity.  The following are some principles that should be discussed:

• Word of Wisdom D&C 89:5-7
• Modesty in word, dress, and action A of F 13
• Fasting D&C 59:13-14
• Love of God, self, others
• Study of the scriptures D&C 18:33-34
• Doctrine and Covenants 121:45–46 (virtuous thoughts)
• Doctrine and Covenants 58:2 (obedience)
• Doctrine and Covenants 93:49 (prayer)
• Doctrine and Covenants 59:9 (sacrament and Sabbath day)

TRUE STORY:
With him at his side was a lovely girl, slight of frame and beautiful of face and form. It was obvious that they loved one another, for as they sat together across the desk from me, he reached quietly for her hand and there were meaningful glances. The melodious voice was hesitant and a bit choked with emotion as he introduced his girl friend, and there was pleading in their eyes. “We are in difficulty, Brother Kimball,” he said. “We have broken the law of chastity. We prayed and fasted and agonized and finally came to the conclusion that we must try to make adjustments. “That junior prom date was a turning point. It started out a very special one. But as I see it now, it turned out to be a tragic one, the beginning of our troubles. When I saw her coming downstairs that night, I thought no girl was ever so beautiful and so sweet. We danced through the evening; and then when we sat in the car, long and silently afterward, my thoughts became unruly as we became more and more intimate.
“Neither of us dreamed what was happening to us,” he continued, “but all the elements were there to break down resistance. We did not notice time—the hours passed. The simple kisses we had often exchanged gradually developed into petting. We stopped at that. But there were other nights—the bars were down. We loved each other so much that we convinced ourselves that it was not so wrong merely to pet since we sort of belonged to one another anyway. Where we ended one night became the starting point for the next night, and we continued on and on, until finally it happened—almost as though we could not control ourselves—we had intercourse. We had even talked about it and agreed that whatever else we did we would not go that far. And then when it was late—so late—so everlastingly late—we woke up to the meaning of what we had done.”
Can we be forgiven, Brother Kimball?” the young couple asked.
“Yes,” I replied, “the Lord and his church can and will forgive, but not easily. The way of the transgressor is hard. It always has been and it always will be. The Lord said: ‘I tell thee, thou shalt not depart thence, till thou hast paid the very last mite’ ” (Luke 12:59).
But I went on to tell them that in his goodness he provided for us a way to forgiveness. One may do as he pleases, but he cannot evade responsibility. He may break laws, but he cannot avoid penalties. One gets by with nothing. God is just. Paul said, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Gal. 6:7).

QUOTES:
President Kimball then counseled the young couple: “Immorality does not begin in adultery or perversion. It begins with little indiscretions like sex thoughts, sex discussions, passionate kissing, petting and such, growing with every exercise. The small indiscretion seems powerless compared to the sturdy body, the strong mind, the sweet spirit of youth who give way to the first temptation. But soon the strong has become weak, the master the slave, spiritual growth curtailed. But if the first unrighteous act is never given root, the tree will grow to beautiful maturity and the youthful life will grow toward God, our Father” (“President Kimball Speaks Out on Morality,” Ensign, Nov. 1980, pp. 94–95).

“Good habits are not acquired simply by making good resolves, though the thought must precede the action. Good habits are developed in the workshop of our daily lives. It is not in the great moments of test and trial that character is built. That is only when it is displayed. The habits that direct our lives and form our character are fashioned in the often uneventful, commonplace routine of life. They are acquired by practice” (Delbert L. Stapley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, p. 25; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, p. 20).

STORY AND EXERCISE:  One young woman evaluated her daily activities and habits and set goals for maintaining her standards. She knew that her happiness now and in the future depended on her maintaining her chastity.

Tell the following story:  Tamara accepted the prophet’s challenge to keep a journal. Before she began dating, she decided to write in her journal the personal commitments she had made about dating. She resolved to date only boys who had standards similar to hers. There would be no parking, no necking, no petting, and she would always have a prayer by herself before going out, to ask for strength to keep her commitments.  As she dated, she recorded her experiences and maintained her standards even though she was pressured not to. She remained true to the commitments that she had recorded in her journal. While attending a university, Tamara became acquainted with an outstanding Latter-day Saint young man. They often talked together and developed a close friendship.

One day, in a casual conversation, the subject of Tamara’s journal and the commitments she had made years earlier came up. It was then that this young man determined that their friendship must develop into an eternal partnership. He had been searching for a companion who had established high standards and maintained them.

I then passed out a PURITY PROMISE contract and told them to take these home and finish reading the book (we gave each of the girls the book titled “On Guard”) and to prayerfully decide and write down their own promises regarding their dating standards as Tamara did. And to put this contract where they will see it daily to serve as a frequent reminder to maintain personal purity through righteous living.

CONCLUSION

COOKING FROG ANALOGY: I told the story about how you cook frogs. If you put frogs in a pot of boiling hot water, they'll jump right out. But if you put them in and slowly turn up the heat, they won't notice it and eventually they'll be boiling and ready to eat. Satan works the same way. First its sitting in a car for hours talking to a boy, then then it is kissing the boy alone in your house, then passionate kissing, then a little inappropriate touching, then kissing in a bed, then more touching, then clothes aren't on and then you have passed the point of no return.. you are burned/cooked.

TAKE HOME: I gave them a quote attached to a bag of gummy frogs that read – “You Don't have to Kiss All The Frogs While Searching For Your Prince”

Remind the young women that they can maintain their chastity and personal purity by obeying gospel principles and by developing righteous daily habits and activities. As they do, they will find the joy that the Lord promises to all the faithful. Explain that we must develop habits of obeying gospel principles every day. Inconsistent efforts will not help to keep us pure and clean.