A skit written by Laurel Hart

Presented at Stake Visiting Teaching Workshop, Provo, UT, USA, 1984

CAST: Sister Blister (S.B.) Relief Solo-ciety President (R.P.) 4 Visiting Teachers, with posters identifying them as various kinds of shoes….

SCENE: The Relief Sole-Ciety Shoe Store. A sign bearing the name sits on the desk. A backdrop of shelves of shoeboxes is behind the desk. The Relief Sole-Ciety Prez is seated at the desk. Sister Blister

limps in, with a "Barefoot" poster hung on her front.

RP: Hello, Sister Blister, can I help you?

S.B. I don't know. My SOLE is really hurting (she points to her foot).

RP: Yes, I can see that you need some help.

SB: Oh, I'm afraid I'm beyond help. You see, I've become CALLOUSED and I flatly refuse to think there's any hope for me.

RP: Now, how, don't talk that way. You've taken a step in the right direction coming here. After all, this is the Relief SOLE-CIETY and we specialize in taking care of "de-feet." (She points to the foot).

SB: You do? (with a spark of hope in her voice)…Oh, give the shoes to me now!

RP: Not so fast, not just any pair will do. You have very special problems so we need to be selective in our decision as to which would fit you the best. Let me introduce you to some of our most popular pairs, and I think you will be able to choose for yourself… THE LOAFERS come out casually, looking rather bored.

SB: That pair looks pretty nice.

RP: Yes, but they're just a couple of LOAFERS. They accept the call to be visiting teachers, but they just refuse to get INSTEP with the program. They rarely make their visits, even though they seldom have

a good excuse.

LOAFERS: #1-Should we do our visiting teaching, Penny?

#2-I can't, I'm studying to be an OXFORD graduate. (Loafers leave).

SB: You're right. I guess I wouldn't want them. A pair of THONG FLIP-FLOPS comes out.

RP: Here's another pair, but I don't think you'd want them either.

SB: Why not?

RP: Well, sometimes they go out and sometimes they don't. They FLIP-FLOP from month to month.

THONG FLIP-FLOPS: #1-Let's go visiting teaching.

#2-Oh, let's not.

#1-OK, we won't.

#2-Well, maybe we'd better. (The THONG FLIP FLOPS exit, still trying to make up their minds)

SB: I guess they're the THONG kind of visiting teaching to have. (The TENNIS SHOES peek around the curtain and then sneak out when they see the coast is clear)

SB: Is that the pair for me?

RP: No, I'm afraid not. They're just a couple of SNEAKERS. Oh, they do get out and do their visiting teaching every month, but they do it on the very last day. Their visits are made more for the rolls to

look good than for the needs of their sisters. And then after they do their duty, that's the last their sisters see of them or hear from them until the next month...on the last day again.

SNEAKERS: #1-Shhhh! Give us a break

#2-Yeah, we're just too TIED UP to get out any sooner. (They sneak off stage).

RP: Keds will be Keds, I guess, (She shakes her head). (The FURRY SLIPPERS enter):

SB: Boy, they look great.

RP: Yes, but don't let their appearance fool you. They're one of the worst pairs. Underneath that soft, warm surface is a cold heart. They say they want to help and they offer their total support, but sooner

or later you'll find that these offers are flimsy and certainly not FUR REAL. Somehow, when you really need them, they always manage to have just SLIPPERED out.

Slippers: #1-Heh, heh, heh!

#2-See you later. (They slip out. A pair of CONVERSE tennis shoes enter, whispering and laughing).

SB: Can I trust this pair?

RP: I'm afraid not. They have their problems too. They're faithful in coming each month, but when they do, they CONVERSE, and CONVERSE, and CONVERSE, and never about the visiting teaching message either. It's always just gossip. And what's even worse, their TONGUES are loose and have a hard time keeping confidences.

CONVERSE SHOES: #1- (very offended) Well, after all, we're not HUSH PUPPIES.

#2- Come on, I've got to tell you about Sister Jones. (They exit whispering).

SB: I'd never "BARE MY SOLE" to them. The HIGH HEELS enter.

RP: I think that's the pair we're looking for!

SP: Yes, visiting teachers that are UPLIFTING.

Visiting Teacher HIGH HEELS: #1-We'd love to help you set some HIGH GOALS for yourself.

#2-We can BUCKLE down and work out those problems together!

SB: Yes, I'm sure that you are the pair that can RAISE my self-esteem and HEEL my tired SOLE.

RP: (to audience) Let me add just one final FOOTNOTE: "If this shoes fits, WEAR IT."

THE RELIEF "SOLE"-CIETY SONG
 

(Tune: "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from My Fair Lady)

(RP & SB or include audience, if desired:)

All I want is a teacher who'll see

The kind of soul I would like to be

And take good care of me,

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely.

She'd lift me up when I'm feeling sad

Laugh with me when I'm feeling glad

Shower me with charity,

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely.

(Shoe pairs from skit:)

We souls have seen much better days

We've seen the error of our ways

We will get our act together

One of these days.

We will be so very good,

Visiting Teaching like we should

Throughout our neighborhood,

Oh, wouldn't it be lovely,

(All:) Lovely, lovely, lovely lovely