Wacky Fashion Show
by Susan Nuttall and Zelma Adams
 

Have your hostess wearing a tank top (picture of tank pinned to shirt) & boxer shorts (boxing gloves).  It helped that our hostess was 7 months pregnant at the time.

Get ready to Rumble!!! Sister .... is going to crush the competition when the boys see her outfit. Her "tank" top means business. & her shorts are really heavy weight! Tank tops and boxers are meant to show muscle. Sister... is bursting with muscles. watch out boys
here she comes.

spaghetti straps (partially cooked spaghetti pinned on to a dress like straps) She sampled spaghetti as she strolled down the run way.

Young Women, if you want a date to this years prom, take a look at sister... She's sure to be all the rage in her spaghetti strap evening gown. There's enough spaghetti to hold her dress up & to make her date the coveted pre prom spaghetti dinner. All the guys will be flocking to her with such an offer. Maybe she should make the dinner after the dancing though, that way she'll know her dress will stay up.

Daisy dukes (shorts with artificial daisies pinned to them) & a plunging neck line (a plunger)

Daisy duke may have the short shorts, but sister... has the shorts and the real life daisies to go with them. To top it off , she has a plunging neck line that is actually functional. If you're going to show the skin, it better "do " something. Take the plunge & use your flower power to impress those boys.

thong bikini (a sandal hung from string worn like a necklace.  My mother in law has a night gown that has a super models figure in a bikini drawn on the front & back.)

Listen closely. Can you hear all the boys in the hallway whispering? They are "discussing" sister ...new summer outfit. She's dressed to give all the boys the "deer in the headlights" look, with her stylish thong bikini. It leaves nothing to the imagination, especially all of sister... "newly drawn" curves. Whether she spends her summer on the beach, riding the waves of the river or window shopping downtown, everyone is sure to stop & stare.

This was a great Standards Night done in our ward a few years ago. It was written by Susan Nuttall and Zelma Adams and addressed the issue of modesty which we were concerned about in our ward.

The room was set up like a fashion runway and was decorated with lights, greenery and flowers. The models were ladies in our ward that the girls knew and looked up to. They had to really ham it up. Their outfits are described below (extreme is the key!!!!) This was for mothers and daughters. The DI let us "borrow" any outfits we needed.

There was a speaker on modesty afterwards.

I realize that different wards have different concerns and different situations. I know there has been much debate on body piercing and tattoos...but this could be adapted to meet your ward's needs. I think it really made an impact on the girls.

We had a fashion "hostess" (I'm not sure what you would call her) who introduced all of the models with the following verses:

Opening:

A "Fashion Bash" we have for you.
As for our models, we've not a clue.
Each are dressed in the latest fashion.
I'm sure you'll see with the greatest of passion.
There's clothes of worldly fashion and flair.
We hope you'll enjoy...what we'd like to share.

SHORT SKIRTS: Model wore an inappropriate short skirt.

The "Worldly Look" you must agree
Is showing us a lot of knee.
First, the knee and then the thigh...
Some mini-skirts go 'way up high!

So, if you want to sit at all..
And walk or run or cruise the mall...
Better have more fabric in your dress...
Remember, modesty is always best!

And...please don't dare to reach or bend,
Because you WILL expose your end.

Chorus:
Our prophet asks each girl to be
A picture of feminity.
To show the world in modest dress
We're not the same as all the rest.

HALTER TOPS: She wore a horse's halter

Halters on horses are always quite fine.
A horse needs a halter to keep him in line.
A horse needs a halter to keep him on track.
A horse needs a halter to guide him on back.

A girl needs a sweatshirt or a turtleneck sweater.
A girl needs a jacket or vest in cold weather.
A girl needs a t-shirt or blouse to look fine,
A girl dressed modestly is right on the line.

So, I guess what we're really trying to say
Is we want you to dress in a modest way.
Halters are always in style for a horse,
But a young woman needs to do better...of course!

JEWELRY: model wore tons and tons of gaudy jewelry

Glitter, clutter, shiny gold.
Mincing and jangling as we go.
Too many necklaces, bracelets and rings,
These are al of worldly things.

A bracelet, a necklace, a ring or two,
Are very flattering and graceful on you.
But when you put oh more and more
You look like a walking jewelry store.

Chorus:
Our prophet asks each girl to be
A picture of femininity.
To show the world in modest dress
We're not the same as all the rest.

TIGHT CLOTHING: The model wore light long johns with Saran wrap tightly wrapped around her body so that she could hardly move or walk.

Then, there's clothes so tight and revealing,
Just to breathe, she is numb, no feeling.
Is it really worth the pain and duress.
To feel like a mummy with full figure distress?

If up the staircase you venture to tread,
Please, puleeze, take the elevator instead!

Chorus:

SLIT SKIRT: skirt with a very long slit

A skirt with a slit, to some seems real "hip".
A dress with a slice may to others seem nice.
]If a gown has a slash, we say it's quite "dash".
And a split in the skirt is "Oh, just so pert"!

A slit, a slash, a slice or a split
May be what the fashion experts call "it"
But, you'd better take care of that mighty long tear.
You may just end up showing your pink underwear!

Chorus:

THE GOTHIC LOOK: Dressed in all black with white painted face

The Gothic look of "Painted Face"
For Halloween might have its place
With eyes and lips ad Dark as night,
To others. .such a Ghastly sight!

The look you wear tells quite a story
Your self-esteem with virtues and glory,
A daughter of God and a Princess, too
Is what our Father bequeaths to you.

Remember, girls, and know it's true,
There's always someone watching you.

Chorus:

SPAGHETTI STRAPS: Model wore a dress with actual spaghetti noodles
covering the straps.

The worldly look would have you think
Spaghetti isn't something good to eat.
Instead...straps so small it's hard to see
If they're part of the dress or part of "thee"

That hungry date might take a bite
And you'd be topless for the night.

Chorus:

PLUNGING NECKLINE: Model wore a low cute dress and carried a plunger with her

A beautiful girl in a beautiful dress
Looks gorgeous and stunning, I confess.
Many eyes will want to admire
This girl, if she's modest in her attire.

But a plunging neckline, we must beware
Will make the wrong person stop and stare.
And, if on a date with some "buff" guy,
His eyes must gaze upon the sky.

He dare'st not look on thy sweet face,
For fear of looking in the wrong place!
And, if that dress is backless too
Oh dear, what's the poor feller to do?

So, if you're going to take the plunge
Make sure your necklines are modestly done!

BODY PIERCING:

To be "holey" does not mean
That we must take it to the extreme...
Of piercing nose and tongue and eyes.
To do so isn't sensible, nor is it wise!

Piercing this and that and there
Shows that you really do not care
For the body that you were given
By a loving Father in Heaven.

The temple that you mare
Will forever yet to be scarred.

So..stand for truth and righteousness!
Be "holy" and be free.
Take care of the only body you'll have
and receive blessings through eternity!

BODY PAINTING (TATTOOS): Model was plastered with sticker tattoos and marker

Permanent tattoos...
Is that what you choose?
They won't wash off, they are always there,
And...they will go with you EVERYWHERE!

Hearts and skulls and dragon's feet.
Are these what you want your grandchildren to meet?
Now, it doesn't take ink, nor does it take dye
To show that true beauty lies deep inside.

Chorus:

SWIMSUITS: Model wore a bikini with long johns underneath

If you're looking for some swimwear to buy
Don't choose those leg holes cut 'way up high!"
They're fashioned to almost reach your waist.
MY GOODNESS! What keeps the bottom in place?

There's hardly any fabric there
To cover parts that SHOULDN'T be bare!
And necklines so low that one can see
(When you bend over) clear to the knee!

Modesty, they say, is "Out of Style"
Why, on some nude beaches...they just wear a smile.
So, when you shop...your cash to spend...
Make sure you're covered to: THE END!"

Chorus:

FLIP FLOPS: fins/flippers, snorkel, mask

The flip flop look as you can see
Is very useful at the beach
They are very comfy and quite in style
But probably wouldn't make it many miles

On Sundays however please leave them at home
Our Stake Presidency has declared Sundays the
NO FLIP FLOP ZONE
Monday thru Saturday feel free to wear them
Just Sunday wear other shoes that would show more reverence

LOGO TEES: a t-shirt with every logo imaginable written on with a sharpie

Princess, diva, Angel etc.....
Are the words you see on t-shirts for worse or better
If you buy them for fun to wear at play
Just make sure they have words on them you want them to say

What you say on your clothes tells who you are
Do you want people to think you belong in a bar?
As cute and funny as they may be
The Sabbath is not the place for us to see
These funny words and silly pictures
Don't belong in the chapel along with our scriptures

DENIM: (wear ratty old denim)

We all love our comfy and fashionable denim
And we admit we all look really good in em
But if you wear denim to church on Sundays
Please make sure it looks clean, nice and not at all frayed

For we are commanded to be unspotted and holy
But only in spirit not in our clothing
So no holes, frays, rips or tears
Or you might get some unsightly stares

I've seen or heard of a few of them with guys.....

Tank Top, with army tanks or pictures connected to the shirt

"Baggy" pants, with little plastic sandwich bags full of nails, tacks, etc attached all over the pants

Droopy drawers, with a wooden drawer attached to the guy's rear end

Clingy clothes, wrap Saran wrap over clothes

Boxer shorts, attach boxing gloves

Body Piercing, with an arrow in the head headband

We expanded on the list idea of wearing funny things to represent immodest dress styles and wrote up a little script to go with it.

Boxer shorts (boxing gloves hung at waist) & Tank top (picture of tank):

"Our model is making a dangerous statement with her boxer shorts and tank top. While her aggressive posture may be all the "rage" in the jungle, we suggest something a little less provocative for around town."

Plunging neckline (plunger around neck):

"This year some are sporting plunging necklines, but we think this look should be flushed from your closets!"

Spaghetti straps (spaghetti pinned to shoulders):
"It's a 'lean and hungry look' when you wear spaghetti straps, but unless you want men to chew you up and spit you out, you'd best not try this at home!

Mini skirt  (with picture or clipart of Minnie Mouse on it):
"Here's a cute skirt--a Minnie skirt. It's sure to elicit a squeak when you sit on that cold chair. But wait, who wants to be mousy? Perhaps this is one rodent we should exterminate.

Halter top (horse's halter hung around neck):

Ah, the classic halter top, a style that says 'freedom' to many; but you're more likely to be led around by the nose when you put on one of these. And don't even think of jumping in it! All told, you're better off just saying 'neigh!' to this article of clothing."

See-through blouse (letter 'c' pinned to blouse):
"Here comes our next model, wearing a 'c' through blouse. She seems to have forgotten the abc's of good taste, and her ' (seamy) attire should be edited, don't you think? But all this talk of ace's is making me 'cassock. Let's move on."

Bare midriff (teddy bear tied around waist):

"Perhaps you have tried the 'bear midriff' look before. It's sure to attract all sorts of wild life, like cat calls and wolf whistles. If you don't want to be pawed and clawed, you'd better stick with just 'bearing' your soul and not you body. I can't 'bear' to look at this
anymore!

Hot pants (picture of a fire pinned to the behind):
"Yikes! Our model is feeling the heat as she parades in her 'hot pants'. It's enough to make anyone's face red! Maybe next time she'll remember not to play with fire.

Well, that's it for our fashion show. Maybe next time you look at someone and think "I want be like you-too-too," you'll remember that "monkey see, monkey do" isn't always the best look for you!