Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
 

Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection.  Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.  Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Skippy.

The grave side was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." 

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.  He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes....conned by those who buttered him up.  Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife.  They have two children and another bun in the oven.  The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.