Mormon Football Plays


 

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during meeting.

Draw Play - What the kids do with the program during Sacrament.

Half-time - Sunday School

Bench warmer - Those members who do not sing, pray, participate, or apparently do anything but just sit and warm the bench.

Backfield-in-Motion - People in the back of the Chapel going to the rest-room or water fountain during the meeting.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of tithing that should have been paid three weeks ago.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which the concluding speaker says, "In conclusion, I would like to bear my testimony" and you start to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The speaker loses his notes and falls back on repeating what he just said.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the meeting goes into "overtime!".

Trap - You're called on to pray while you're dozing.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, before you have to speak to that long winded  gossip.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation to skip Sunday School.

Sacked - Being asked to speak in Sacrament meeting before you can escape.

Blitz - The rush for the parking lot following the closing prayer on Fast Sunday.