Comprehending Engineers
 

Comprehending Engineers
**********************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers
*********************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers
*********************************
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

You Might Be An Engineer If:

~The only jokes you receive are through email.
~At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the
 burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.
~Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
~Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and

   You are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
~In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
~The Salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
~You are always late to meetings.
~You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
~You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.
~You forget to get a haircut (for 6 months!)
~You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
~You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
~You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
~You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
~You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backward in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.
~You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
~You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
~You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
~You have never backed up your hard drive.
~You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
~You have used coat hangars and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
~You know what http:// stands for.
~You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
~You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
~You see a good design and still have to change it.
~You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
~You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.
~You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
~You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.

~You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa).
~You window shop at Radio Shack.
~You're in the back-seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the
 moon, and your trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.
~Your checkbook always balances.
~Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
~Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
~Your wristwatch has more computing power than a 300 MHz Pentium.
~You've already calculated how much you make per second.
~You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
~Your four basic food groups are: 1.Caffeine  2.Fat  3.Sugar  4.Chocolate